i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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