i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
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If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
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He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Someone signed my nipple.
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