i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Actions speak louder than pants.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Dick very happy bro
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
