literally had 100 drinks last night.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
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You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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