dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize