Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize