i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
