I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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