Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
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I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
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He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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