Betty ford says i'm here all night
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents