i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize