Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
