thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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