but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
