Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
