How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
