The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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