So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
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so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
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Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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