i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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