Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
