Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
