My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
