I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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