TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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