careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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