Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I will pee on everything he values.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
