Umm I'm too high to move.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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