he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Randomize
