so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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