you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
me + whiskey = a bad person
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
