Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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