I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
