I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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