I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
