the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
