in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize