eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Be still, my beating vagina.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
