...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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