just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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