My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize