So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
vagina is talking i cant
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Sorry about my life...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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