Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
