Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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