love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
