You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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