Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
