I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
