I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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