I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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