Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
