We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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