Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.

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(641): View more from Iowa

Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.

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(773): View more from Illinois

well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.

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(801): View more from Utah

What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."

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(530): View more from California

My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"

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(619): View more from California

If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.

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(830): View more from Texas

I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home

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(916): View more from California

I smell like heartbreak.

(707): View more from California

Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?

(916): View more from California

How did you know?

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