Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
