I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
