i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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