she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
