Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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