Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
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