i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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